Green Grass & Early Goodbyes

 

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The backyard stretches out, glimmering emerald from summer’s endless rain and sun. A lone oak tree, once so petite and spindly, towers full and grand above the sagging trampoline, shading part of our fenced yard.

I clench my eyes shut, then open them.

There are no flashes of white, no bounding speckled legs. The squirrels run rampant, blue jays and doves pecking at the bird feeder unhindered.

Everything is empty and quiet, the kind of quiet that echoes so loudly it stretches the soul.

I’m filled with the ache of missing, of early goodbyes.

I flip on the hose until the spray gushes, aiming at Mango’s cage tray and trying to focus on the green, green grass, not the colorful memories that blur my eyes.

Oh, Jedi.

We had to say goodbye so suddenly, with little warning. I can barely go there, barely think of that awful day. But instead of focusing on the empty yard swallowing me and the early goodbye I didn’t expect or want to say, I’ll focus on the 6 1/2 years we had with you.

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We prayed for a medium-sized, non-shedding, kid-loving dog, and we got you. ❤IMG_0375.JPG

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We also got a great guard dog.

I’ll never forget that summer day, when the boys were no taller than my waist and you were still gangly, one-year old puppy, yet you alerted me to the troublesome teenager breaking into our neighbor’s house. Your ferocious barking scared him right back over the neighborhood wall.  10387044_10204211572428881_5248687302605487912_o[1].jpg

We also got a lively and energetic companion, an active dog that in the wrong hands, could’ve been destructive. But you were such an eager-to-please boy. Your job was keeping squirrels, birds, raccoons, and possums out of our yard, and you did it faithfully.

I’m so glad you loved walking as much as I did. I wonder how many miles we walked together in 6 1/2 years? So many, but not enough.

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Cole misses you licking his chin each morning when he puts on his shoes before school. Chase misses you running around the yard while he bounces on the trampoline and when you joined us each night in the boys’ bedroom for back scratching while I read to them.

What do I miss? So much. ❤

I miss your face in the kitchen window when I leave and come home; the slap of the dog door as you run in and out; your toothy doggy grin when we came home; your safe, alert presence when I walked in the evenings; even your hearty barking when the UPS guy drops off a package at the door then scurries away.

We even miss your drool.

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Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~ Roger Caras

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I turn off the hose and gaze around, the quiet smothering. The boys are inside, finishing homework and growing taller, and my heart tugs and pulls at the memories in this space, on this green, green grass.

I remember all the little boy and puppy growing up that happened in this yard, the many hours of playtime with dear neighbor kids, and the tears fall. ❤

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But then, I look down and see it.

A leaf beside Mango’s tray. All by itself, a single straggler amidst a sea of green. Where had it come from?

Fall doesn’t hit Florida until December or January, and this was clearly not an oak leaf.

Where?…

More tears come, from missing you puppy, and from a God who cares about all of His creation and shows it in ways He knows I’ll see and cherish. ❤

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We miss you, Stinky Pete. And our home isn’t home without you. We’re praying for another good boy, but he or she won’t be you, Jedi.

We love and miss you, crazy spotted puppy. ❤

Once you have had a wonderful dog, a life without one, is a life diminished. ~ Dean Koontz
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8 thoughts on “Green Grass & Early Goodbyes

  1. deboracoty October 10, 2016 at 4:30 am Reply

    Your broken heart resonates with us all who have well loved our four-legged babies, Kerry. Lifting your family up in prayer today.

    • candidkerry October 18, 2016 at 5:08 pm Reply

      Thanks Debora. ❤ Miss seeing you at BCW. Hope to make this month's meeting.

  2. Jennifer Deg October 10, 2016 at 7:26 am Reply

    *Tears I think of you often friend. Peace be with you. 💞

    • candidkerry October 18, 2016 at 5:08 pm Reply

      Thanks friend. ❤ It gets a little easier each day, but you don't stop missing them. ❤

  3. Rick Christensen October 10, 2016 at 8:42 am Reply

    Thank you for a heart touching post and prayers of comfort for your family. Our big brown dog got cancer this year…with medication, she was able to spend 3 additional months with us. Great pics of your dog and those will be precious memories!

    • candidkerry October 18, 2016 at 5:07 pm Reply

      Oh, Rick. So sorry about your dog. 😦 It’s so hard to say goodbye to our loyal four-legged friends. Just heart-wrenching. I pray you’re doing well. Miss seeing you at BCW.

  4. BelindaKrame October 10, 2016 at 10:24 am Reply

    Tears in my eyes reading about Jedi. It makes me miss our Jenny who we lost last year after so many beautiful memories with our children, just as you described. Beautiful remembrance. I pray he comes back.

    • candidkerry October 18, 2016 at 5:06 pm Reply

      Thanks, Belinda. We miss Jedi’s presence in our home very much. ❤ Miss seeing you at BCW. I need to get to the next meeting!

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