The Weight of the Wait

“Those are dead. All the leaves fell off. Can I just chuck them over the wall?”

I was glaring at three bare stalks sticking up in the far corner of our backyard. My dirt and grass-flecked hubby walked by, weed-eater in hand. The late-April evening weather was perfect, and we were outside doing yard work while the boys ran around like trod-upon fire ants.

“We just planted them. Give it time.” Patient Hubby noted, buzzing the grass along the flower bed border.

Our house backs up to the six-foot wall spanning the south side of our neighborhood, and on the other side of the wall is overgrown nature: trees, weeds, and rarely mowed grass. It’s a convenient area to toss dead bushes and expired plants. The small trees had been doing well, but we had to relocate them in order to paint the back wall a few weeks prior. Trev had shoved them in the dirt a dozen feet from their original spot, and I watched over a period of days as healthy emerald leaves curled into yellowed brown and fell off.

Give it time? They’re just going to die.

Days passed, two weeks marched into three, and I was caught up in the boys’ school activities, work, field trips, and a friend’s weekend visit. Sunrises and sunsets blurred golden-pink, into each other and the future. And one day, as I kicked the soccer ball around for Jedi and watched Cole and Chase play a two-man game of baseball, I noticed the triple stalks.

Topped with shiny green leaves and sunlight. Emerald again. Flourishing.

Worth the wait.

Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord! ~ Psalm 27:14

Waiting.

It’s possibly the most difficult aspect of being a Christ-follower. Laying aside self and trusting Jesus. Waiting and trusting while walking in faith. Believing God’s promises in His Word, trusting in His goodness despite setbacks, and knowing His plans for our lives are far better than our own.

Five years ago God gave me a story to write, and I went into it blind, unsure. I mumbled a prayer, again and again as I struggled to piece together who and what He wanted me to write about.

“Lord, use the talent You gave me to bring honor and glory to You alone.” 

Then I wrote.

The past couple years, God called me to wait. Wait on what my heart beats about…my fiction writing. I had finished the story He gave me, but instead He directed me to blog, read books about the craft of writing, connect with other Christian writers on a similar journey, and learn to write better.

Most importantly, to be in His Word so I could know Him more.

I prayed, prayed, and prayed about the story God gave – the characters he drove into my heart and head – knowing they were meant for something beyond me. Waiting. In the midst of my impatience and uncertainty, I clung to the verse God gave me shortly after finishing the first draft in 2009.

“Your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.” ~ 1 Corinthians 2:5

In early May, I received some amazing, awesome news. A writing contest in which I’d entered my fiction book announced their semi-final list.

Is that…my name? Mine?

Kerry Johnson.

I freely admit to five seconds of out-of-control screaming when I saw the message. I had to convince Cole and Chase that my screeching cry was indeed a happy one. It’s an honor and a privilege to be on the list of semi-finalists for the American Christian Fiction Writer’s Genesis Contest, but greater than my excitement was the realization that the weight of the wait was worth it. He had strengthened my heart through the waiting and through the uncertainty.

Are you waiting on a promise from God? Trust Him. He will strengthen your heart.

Throwing God’s promises over the back wall when they’re not growing as you think they should may seem an easier, more sensible solution – but don’t do it. Trust Him. Wait. He can use the weight of the wait to grow your faith and draw you closer to Him – the very best place to be.

Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him. ~ Psalm 37:7

Book Review: A Noble Groom, by Jody Hedlund

The day I started Jody’s latest book, A Noble Groom, I had a few bushes to uproot in our backyard and new plants to plant, along with various other tasks like weeding and watering. I indulged in the first few chapters of A Noble Groom, then set out to get the yard work done. Trudging around outside, shovel in gloved hands, I grumbled about the sticky Florida warmth as trickles of sweat raced down my brow and back.

Twenty minutes into my chores, the stubborn, spindly Hibiscus roots nearly got the best of me. Then I thought of Jody’s main characters in A Noble Groom, Annalisa and Carl, and about how much hard work goes into a family farm. Jody portrayed the rigor, joy, and literal pitfalls of farming life vibrantly in her latest book. This wonderful story also served as a reminder about my German grandparents and their farm in Ohio where my mom and my aunts grew up. Hard work was life. For many, whether fifty years ago or two hundred years ago like Jody’s characters, a farm was their only means of survival.

I told myself to suck it up and get the yard work done (mainly so I could get back inside and read more).

Jody has written four books, and the latest is another winner. From the back cover of A Noble Groom:

Annalisa Werner’s hope for a fairy-tail love is over. Her husband failed her in every way, and now his death has left her with few options to save the family farm. She needs a plentiful harvest. That, and a husband to help bring it in. Someone strong, dependable. That’ll be enough. A marriage for love…that’s something she’s given up on.

So her father sends a letter to his brother in the Old Country, asking him to find Annalisa a groom. Then a man appears: Carl Richards, from their home country of Germany, and a former schoolteacher – or so he says. He’s looking for work and will serve on the farm until her husband arrives.

With time running out, she accepts Carl’s help, but there’s more to this man than she’s admitting. He’s also gentle, kind, charming – unlike any man she’s ever known. But even as he is shining light into the darkness of Annalisa’s heart, she knows her true groom may arrive any day.

One of the things I appreciate about Jody’s writing is the attention to detail and historical depth she brings to her novels. I want to learn as I read, fiction or non, and Jody’s books brim with history about those who came before and their fascinating, often difficult lives. Add to that her uncanny ability to pen a page-turner overflowing with a zippy plot, realistic action, and romantic tension, and I’m hooked.

In A Noble Groom, Jody also touches on the residual effect of class struggles that the German immigrants dealt with, and the fact that many women were not given the choice about whom they married. I enjoyed the way Jody worked out the plot intricacies, from the mystery of who Carl was and where he came from, to the death of Annalisa’s husband, and especially as the author deftly mined the depths of Annalisa’s heart and Carl’s choices.

A Noble Groom is an exciting, sweet read that leaves readers gratefully filled. I highly recommend all of Jody’s books, this one included.

*******

I have an extra copy of A Noble Groom*, so I’m having a give-away! If you’d like to be entered, please leave a comment on my blog or on the Facebook post by Thursday, midnight EST. I’ll draw a name out of a hat, and announce the winner in a comment on Friday morning (and get in touch with you). I’d love to know what you’re reading right now, or about a recent great read! (Inside the continental U.S. only, please. Thanks!)

*I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.

<<THE WINNER OF THE DRAWING IS REBECCA WILLS! THANKS EVERYONE FOR STOPPING BY AND COMMENTING!>>

The Sacrificial Leaf

The afternoon lay ahead of us, a boardwalk speckled with light and dark shadow dancing together in tropical exuberance. As we entered the south Florida ecological preserve, the sharp sound of traffic and hurry stilled, silenced among God’s marvelous, unique creation.

My sister and mom, Cole, Chase, Cody and I trotted down the walkway, our eyes searching for crabs in the coffee-colored, miry mud along the boardwalk’s edge. Our chattering laughter and the clunky footfalls of boys’ feet scared most of the quick critters back into the safety of their holes. Busy spiders filled the empty spaces between foliage with silken threads and shimmering webs. Signs marked the boardwalk every couple hundred feet, stories about lightning strikes and creatures that make their home in the mangrove swamps and the history of the preserve.

Along the couple-mile walk, we passed a veritable bouquet of trees: oak, palm, Royal Palm, pine, and three types of mangrove trees – black, white, and red. We followed the boys around tree-framed twists on the boardwalk and through knotted limbs and splintered branches.

As we chased the boys’ fleeting footsteps into the maze of wind-strewn, interlocking trees, my mind fell into this day. It was the afternoon of Good Friday, the day when a cross-shaped tree held my Savior.

He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;

He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Surely He has borne our grief and carried our sorrows;

Yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.

But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities;

The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. ~ Isaiah 53:3-5

Finally, we reached the boardwalk’s dead-end, a pier jutting a hundred yards into the Caloosahatchee River, which separates the cities of Cape Coral and Fort Myers by a liquid line of brackish blue. Small,   rustic beaches bordered the preserve’s edge on each side of the pier, the sand mostly untouched by human feet but lined with red mangrove trees.

“There’s the sacrificial leaf.” My sister pointed at a clumped mangrove tree with a bright yellow leaf highlighted by sunlight.

 ”A what?” I inquired.

Mindy and Cody had recently spent a few days in the Florida Keys for Cody’s school trip to Sea Camp, and they explained that the sacrificial leaf is where all the salt water goes. In order to excrete the salt from the plant, a red mangrove leaf become “sacrificial” – it draws the salt that’s soaked into the mangrove tree into itself, which in turn causes the leaf to turn yellow and eventually die.

Sacrifice.

For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

~ Romans 5:6-8

As we headed back out of the preserve, I was – for the hundredth, or thousandth time in my life - awestruck by the salvation plan our Creator enacted to bring us back to Him. Through Jesus’ sacrifice at Calvary, Christ-followers are made right with God. Salvation is nothing we can earn, nothing we can buy, nothing we can ever brag about attaining.

It’s amazing grace, and Jesus hands it to us with nail scarred palms that seek humble hearts after His.

The yellow sacrificial mangrove leaf, where the dangerous salt pools and is shed from the mangrove tree, is much like Jesus’ shed blood on the Cross. As the sunlight waltzed across gnarled tree limbs and Royal Palms reached toward the sky’s ocean of blue, I was warmed by gratefulness that our Heavenly Father gave us a way to Him – through His sacrificial Lamb.

Jesus.

“Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” ~ John 1:29

Wiggling Away

“Ewww!” Chase squealed, his gaze directed at our 150-gallon backyard pond.

Inside the murky water swam Snickers, our soup-bowl sized turtle, and four large goldfish, the only remaining feeder fish we’d purchased a couple of years ago for turtle snacks. Trev stood on the side of the pond, slowly pulling the clogged filter and pump out of the mucky emerald depths.

It was a sunny winter weekend and high time to clean out our turtle pond, restoring it to clear, clean water. Chase and Cole had helped Trevor set up the wheel barrow with treated water, which provided an aquatic refuge for Snickers and the fish while my hubby sucked up the pond gunk with our shop vacuum.

“Don’t forget the minnows!” Chase worriedly reminded us as Trev began draining the pond water. He and the boys had caught the minnows from a neighborhood pond a few weeks ago, and Chase was concerned for their well-being. Snickers was an easy catch; the goldfish were wigglier and slippery, and we all gasped when Trev lifted their heavy bodies out of the pond.

Our little goldfish had grown to epic proportions!

Once Trev had the goldfish in their temporary wheel barrow home, he used the small green net to go after the multitude of mud-colored, inch-long fish from the disappearing water. Minnows. Chase watched, worrying the grass at the pond’s edge and cheering his dad on.

After two dozen minnows were transferred from the remaining inches of water, Trevor decided to vacuum the rest of the water up. Once the pond was emptied, Trev found a cleared-off, grassy spot in our yard and slowly dumped the water out. A handful of wiggly, tiny fish slipped into the grass. We went to work scooping minnows with the green net.

As the mucky water slowly soaked into the earth, the shiny minnows dipped and dove away from the life-saving net. Chase and I searched diligently, knowing the puddle of water in our backyard would disappear soon. Once we’d moved a few minnows over, Chase wandered off into the yard, his interest caught by something else.

But I couldn’t stop looking, because each time I found another minnow, I wasn’t sure it was the last one. Just in case, I’d run the net through the grass, looking for any sign of fish life. Sure enough, I’d find another fidgety fish struggling to hide from the green net in less and less water.

“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:18

As we approach Easter, when Jesus took our sin on Himself and willingly went to the Cross for our sake, I wonder about those wiggling away from their Creator. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. He’s the safety net God provided for His creation, a lifeline and redeemer Who won’t fail when someone is willing to be found by Him.

“And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ who You have sent.” John 17:3

Guest Post: The Love Walk, by Amanda Beth

I’m excited and blessed to have sweet sister in Christ, author Amanda Beth, on my blog this week. She’s a wife, homeschooling mom, writer, and an encouraging friend. I appreciate Amanda’s passion for sharing God’s Word and the love of Christ through her books and website, SharingTruths.com. Her latest book,The Love Walk, is a 15-week devotional based on 1 Corinthians 13. Today she’s sharing an excerpt from chapter seven: Love is Not Self-Seeking.

Chapter Seven: Love Is Not Self-Seeking

Selflessness does not mean “wanting to please others.” The Bible tells us to deny ourselves and lay down our lives for others, but if we learn from Jesus’ example, He didn’t live to please others. He lived to please God by doing His will, which was for the benefit of others.

In order to lay down our lives for the benefit of others we have to first lay down our will and submit it over to Jesus.

“And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.” —2 Corinthians 5:15

After trying everything I possibly could in life, I hit a point when I gave up and said to God, “Here I am, Lord. If You can do anything with my life and have anything planned for me, I’m all Yours.” I stopped trying to plan my life and stopped seeking my own will. That’s when I opened the door for God to come in and live His will through me.

As we give ourselves to God, He works His love in us and enables us to love others. 1 John 4:7-8 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

Being married and having four young children who constantly need my attention, I sometimes feel like all I do is give of myself. At the end of the day there’s nothing left in me to give. I’ve learned that I need to spend time daily with God and allow Him to continually fill me with His love in order to continue giving myself to others.

We can’t give what we don’t have. We can’t give ourselves to others when we’re spiritually empty. Jesus often went without food to continue preaching and meeting the needs of others, but He never neglected His relationship with God.

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”  —Luke 5:16

We will be left spiritually and physically drained if we continue doing things for others without spending time with God, in His Word and in prayer, allowing Him to strengthen us and fill us with His love.

As we commit ourselves to God we can focus on loving others. God wants to fulfill our needs and desires while using us to bless others. I’m amazed how God meets my needs when He prompts me to commit whatever I’m facing over to Him and moves me to meet someone else’s need.

My husband and I were hit once with car trouble four consecutive times in a row. At the time, we’d drop one car off to be fixed and then something would happen to the other and then we’d have to switch them again. By the fourth time my car needed to be fixed, my husband suggested we wait since it was drivable, and we already spent all we had on the other repairs.

As the problem in my car continued, I began to fall into self-pity. Then one day, God humbled me by informing me of a couple who had gone through an extremely rough year, financially, emotionally, and physically. My problems didn’t compare to what they had been through.

I was moved by this couples’ situation and eagerly wanted to reach out and help them. I asked my husband if we could help even though we couldn’t afford it. My husband agreed, so I knew God was moving us to help them and He’d take care of us.

After blessing the couple, I got into my car, turned on the ignition and noticed the problem was gone instantly. I was amazed how God took care of our problem while using us to take care of someone else.

God wants to meet our needs and bless us, but when our minds are on ourselves we miss out on what God has for us and miss out on helping others.

There are many different ways God can use us to help others. When we follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit He will show us what people need. Like Jesus, sometimes what God prompts us to do won’t necessarily make us feel good or please others, but it will be what is needed.

I had to do something for someone once that was very difficult. I even prayed for God not to have me do it because I knew this person wouldn’t respond well. Nevertheless, I laid down my will and obeyed God. Even though this person wasn’t happy with me, I eventually saw the changes God brought about in their life. That showed me it was for their benefit.

People will not always approve of us when we live selflessly. But when we lay down our needs for the needs of others, and seek God’s will, lives will be changed, including ours!

“No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends.” —John 15:13 (AMP)

Amanda is a wife of sixteen years, mother of four children, and author of “You Can Have a Happy Family” and “The LOVE Walk”. God has done an amazing work in her and her family since He rescued her twelve years ago. Because of His unfailing love, she is passionate about sharing His love with others. Every Monday she shares the wonderful benefits behind the truths in God’s Word on her blog (SharingTruths.com). Every Wednesday she shares the Word of God over prayer requests on her Facebook page (http://tinyurl.com/AmandaBeth). And every Sunday she is a guest contributor for Christian Blessings (PTL2010.com). She also shares messages on marriage and parenting on her website (AmandaBeth.net).

Losing Teeth and Borrowing Grace

I was loading the dishwasher when Chase appeared in the kitchen, a tiny trail of blood trickling down his lower lip. Because I expected him to be in bed and was shocked about seeing a streak of red on his chin, I let out a gasp.

He practiced a crooked smile and held a treasure toward me. “I lost a tooth!”

Chase’s pink palm held a tiny pearl nugget, his second loose tooth.

“Can you put this in an envelope for the Tooth Fairy? Please, mom?” I carefully clasped the tiny tooth and sent him back into his room with a playful backside swat. Grabbing an envelope from the office, I placed the tooth inside, wrote ’Chase’ across it with heart-tipped letters, and headed into the boys’ room to put the envelope under Chase’s pillow.

After kissing both boys goodnight again, I padded into the living room, where a glance at my hubby brought on a sharp realization.

The First National Bank of Tooth Fairy was out of cash!

“Do you have any cash on you?” My whispered words were high-pitched. The going rate for a tumbling tooth in our house is two dollars, and my wallet was empty save for a couple of dimes and a handful of pennies. Trevor pulled a lone twenty-dollar bill from his wallet.

Oh no.

A few days prior, Cole lost a tooth one evening before dinner, and I had asked my hubby to bring home singles. Unfortunately, it was already a few minutes past 9:00 that evening, and neither Trev nor I planned to go out again.

Where would the Tooth Fairy get two one-dollar bills to exchange for Chase’s tooth?

I thought about the container of change in the kitchen cabinet, but it was mostly pennies, dimes, and nickels. Worry rippled through my mommy’s heart, until I remembered…there was some cash in our house.

The boys’ wallets.

One Mario, one Star Wars, both wallets oozing with a couple of five dollar bills and a few ones. Cole meticulously counted his cash, but his brother was still learning to count money. Chase didn’t know how many singles he had in his wallet…

Trevor reminded me that Chase wouldn’t know and I could get cash tomorrow to replace the two borrowed dollars. Still I folded inward like a crumpled piece of paper, ready to duck and cover when the parenting police slapped a ‘Bad Mommy’ bumper sticker across my forehead..

Talk about a cheap Tooth Fairy! Chase would be paying for his own tooth!

I was torn between giggling and groaning as I borrowed two dollars from Chase’s wallet and exchanged them for his tiny tooth in their night-light lit bedroom. I was thankful I didn’t have to work the next day, so going to the bank was priority #1 in the morning.

Later, as I was reading in Ephesians, God’s word echoed the situation.

“But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.” ~ Ephesians 4:7

Grace. Amazing grace. Never-ending grace, given freely through faith in Jesus Christ. Jesus promised Paul, ”My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). Matthew Henry said that ”Grace is the free, undeserved goodness and favor of God to mankind.”

Because of Jesus Christ, none of us have to borrow grace. God has given us an abundant supply through His Son, and we don’t have to store it up for life’s ups and downs or for difficult days. It’s always there, in abundant supply through our Savior.

“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” ~ Hebrews 4:16

Tumbling Trials

I was returning from running errands one Saturday when I came home to a curious gathering in our driveway. Our two sons kneeled together on the concrete, safety goggles engulfing their faces and hammers in hand. Next to them were two piles of tile, one gray and one tan, and a couple large white buckets. Trevor loomed over them, watching as hammers went up then down, chipping, cracking, and breaking apart the square tile.

A couple of months ago, Trevor’s dad had given us some leftover tile from various remodeling jobs. We were so grateful for the beautiful tile, and soon the kitchen and most of the great room were finished. The only spot left was a three-and-a-half by five rectangle of bare concrete just inside our entryway. Trevor had drawn some sketches and planned to fill the space with a unique mosaic of the colorful tile.

On the driveway that afternoon, Trevor had the boys break apart the tile he planned to use in the entryway space. I smiled at the giddy grins on their faces as they were given the green light to smash something, over and over and over. As the buckets began filling up with broken pieces of tile, I headed inside.

While unpacking groceries, I noticed through the back doors the new toy my hubby had just rented. It was a dirty, ancient cement mixer that he and Chase had dubbed, “the Cannon.” Trevor was going to take the buckets-full of cracked up tile pieces, add water and small stones, and tumble the sharp edges smooth.

I was curious to see how the tile pieces turned out, or if my handy hubby just wanted to play around with a fun new tool for a few days. I trusted Trev’s judgement, but my inexperienced eyes and impatience kept me from visualizing the finished product – that the broken, jagged tile pieces could become smoothly shaped, useful pieces of the mosaic after a few hours of bumping and tumbling in the mixer.

Brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. ~ James 1:2-4

Later that afternoon, Trev lugged four or five buckets of the thoroughly cracked tile onto our lanai and set about preparing the first bucket for its tumbling trial. He sprayed water into the cement mixer then added a bunch of small, smooth stones we had in our fish tank a few years back. The multitude of tiny tan pebbles would aggravate the tile’s sharp edges with constant bombardment, helping shape and soften the jagged points.

With a click of the cement mixer’s switch, the tumbling began.

“You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.” ~ 2 Timothy 2:3

I was amazed as Trevor dumped and rinsed that first load of tile. The triangle-shaped edges and cracked, angry veins of color had changed completely. Sharp tile now had smooth, gently rounded edges and veins sanded down so that each individual piece would fit beautifully into the mosaic.

Slowly, as bucket after bucket tumbled and changed, I noticed the gentle, useful beauty of the pieces coming out. I even became fond of the crunching sound coming from our backyard every afternoon because I realized the necessity of the tumbling to create a beautiful, purposed piece of tile.

The next weekend my hubby began working on the entryway, laying down a border then carefully choosing each individual tumbled piece for the mosaic. It was tedious work, and as I watched him my mind went over the steps of the process and how the finished product was truly worth the jarring, smashing, tumbling trial it underwent.

Are we any different, Lord? I wondered. Our lives are guaranteed to bring tumbling, soul-cracking trials. Each one shapes us, refines our heart, and changes us for the better – with a stronger faith and solid hope in the only Hope. Christ-followers have a faithful focal point during trials - Jesus - and we’re gifted with God’s grace for each turn and bump of the trial.

Keep your eyes on Jesus and your hands full of God’s grace as you thump along in life’s cement mixer. God is shaping you into a beautiful piece of His mosaic.

Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ’s sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. ~ 1 Peter 4:12-13