Tall, Taller, Tallest

Cole and Chase’s school was having a uniform sale one afternoon, and I lingered around the long table browsing shorts, pants, and shirts. It was a great opportunity to purchase uniforms for next year more cheaply while helping the Junior class raise money.

As I reached for a pen in my purse I noticed Cole and Chase circling a lanky high school student dribbling a basketball. A couple other kids joined them, turning the walkway in front of the gymnasium into a mini-basketball court. Their youthful faces were lit with the sunshine of basketball delight.

Not Cole. His face was intent and serious, beads of sweat forming and tracing down his cheeks as he focused on the teenager’s adept movements. I glanced at my younger son. Chase had an ear-to-ear grin and was bouncing about like an Easter bunny after downing a bag of Dove chocolates.

The young man dribbling in and through the happy hive of younger kids was having fun and playing nicely, so I knew it wasn’t a case of Cole being treated unkindly. After handing over my check, I called the boys over. The teenager glanced my way, said something to Cole, and patted his back.

“Good job. See you tomorrow, Cole.” I couldn’t help noticing that my tall older son looked noticeably shorter when standing next to Mr. Tall Teenager, who had probably waved goodbye to 6 foot last year and was all arms, legs and pancake hands.

Cole. At 7 1/2, he struggles with certain details in life – realizations that come easily to Chase, but elude him in his wobbly quest for perfection. I pray daily about how to parent both children, about how to teach and model for Cole that he won’t be the best at everything and there’s always someone better than him, but that God made him just the way he’s supposed to be and he has lots of strengths.

We pray that Cole will be confident in who God created him to be without the burden of envy weighing on his growing bones.

A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones. ~ Proverbs 14:30

As the boys walked over, the Holy Spirit tweaked my soul, reminding that what’s truth for my children is truth for me as well. Were my bones rotting under the damaging weight of envy?

That morning I’d prayed Psalm 139:23 & 24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”  As a networked writer, I see other writers’ success splashed across Facebook and writing blogs daily, pictures of their books on shelves and breakdowns of book sales and ebook rankings, and I cheer for them and pray for their success.

But – I admit – there are moments when I scrunch my face in want, feeling the bone-heavy envy that God’s word warns explicitly against. God’s word is truly “living and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit…a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12), and I felt the Lord convicting me of the ugly, damaging sin of envy.

“For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are.” ~ James 3:16

As the boys trotted over and we loaded up, I read frustration and disappointment on Cole’s face. I handed them their water bottles, cranked up the air, and turned around in my seat to look at my red-faced son.

“Who would win if I raced against Michael Phelps in the pool?”

“Maybe you mommy.” I tried not to snort, tucking that away for a future blog post about faith.  

“Not happening, honey. He’s an Olympic athlete who’s trained for hours, days, weeks, months, years. He has much more experience and I’d be left in his wake. The teenager playing basketball is like that.”

“He’s taller than me!”

“Cole, he’s 10 years older than you! He’s supposed to be taller than you. In 10 years you might be that tall and the roles will be reversed. You’ll play keepaway with the younger kids. Right now just practice and have fun, honey. Don’t compare yourself to a 17 year old.”

 Later I felt the Lord tapping my heart, reminding me that it doesn’t matter who’s tall, taller, or tallest. We’re each purposed for God’s glory. I’ve been called to write for Him and that includes cheering on other writers and their successes and trusting Him in this awesome, life-long process of letting His Word direct my words.

Don’t compare yourself to others or allow envy into your bones. You’re fearfully and wonderfully made by Him and for Him, and that’s the long and short of it.

10 thoughts on “Tall, Taller, Tallest

  1. Kerry this was super! I relate so much. I find myself a bit envious at times my self, especially in regards to writing successes. But, I guess God uses my writing to minister to some people and maybe someday I’ll also see one of my books on a store shelf…as I reckon I’ll see some of your work as well. Thanks for this post…..

    1. Thanks for stopping by, Bryan. I’ve been MIA on the blog circuit (just so busy), but I’m hoping to stop by your blog to read your FL vacation posts. They’re always great morsels of Truth to chew on. 🙂

      I hope you and your family have a blessed weekend!

  2. So true!!! But maybe, because of how nice the older boys was, maybe one of God’s seeds about how to treat others not as tall or as talented was planted in your son! Your post also made me think that we have to work really hard at where we are, too. There are so many wonderful tihngs in your post – and just love it that your son thinks you can beat M. Phelps – well, he gave you an awesome Mother’s Day hug right there!

    1. Thanks for stopping by, ML. I hope there was a good seed planted that day, too, and I so appreciated the kindness the teenager showed to Cole and the other boys and girls.
      Happy Mother’s Day! Hugs!

  3. Sometimes, when we’re younger, we see the other people in our lives (brothers, cousins, parents) as people we try to or need to emulate. We learn to mimic and adeptly mirror their actions and reactions. When it comes to older role model types in our lives, if they’re young enough and sometimes treat us as equals, then we feel this internal pressure to be able to do what they do. And it doesn’t matter at all whether they’re 5 or 50 years older than we are. I’m glad that Cole has someone like the teenager so he can aim higher than he might on his own. Yes, he does need to realise that the 10 year difference matters, but imagine if he only knew to aim for the things already in his grasp. I loved this post, it reminded me of my cousin John who I idolised in so many ways as the older brother that I never had. Thank you for this picture. =)

    1. Thanks for stopping by, GE. And great point that we do need to aim for things higher, bigger, and better, with grace to miss and learn. I’m glad the post brought back good memories for you. 🙂 Hope to see you soon!

  4. Good story and good application. We are all uniquely made, with strengths and weaknesses. Comparing ourselves to others, and seeing only where we fall short, blinds us to our own strengths. Good post.

    1. Thanks so much for your encouraging comment, Warren. I was just thinking about you and your family and wondering how your younger daughter (Kristin) was doing?
      I hope you and your family are well!
      God Bless,

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